Examining Your Relationship

Healthy Relationships

In a healthy relationship, you should be able to:

• Express your opinions and have them be respected
• Have your needs be as important as your partner’s needs
• Grow as an individual in your own way
• Not be afraid of doing or saying "the wrong thing"
• Change your mind
• Feel confident about yourself when you are around your partner
• Not take responsibility for your partner’s behavior
• Not be physically, emotionally, or sexually abused
• Break up with or fall out of love with someone and not be threatened

Warning Signs of Emotionally Abusive Relationships

You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:

• Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you
• Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive
• Tries to isolate you from family or friends
• Monitors where you go, whom you call and with whom you spend time
• Humiliates you in any way
• Does not want you to work
• Controls finances or refuses to share money
• Punishes you by withholding affection
• Expects you to ask permission
• Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets
• Threatens to hurt themself if you break up

Physically Abusive Relationships

You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:

• Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.)
• Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you
• Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place
• Scared you by driving recklessly
• Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you
• Forced you to leave your home
• Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving
• Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention
• Hurt your children
• Used physical force in sexual situations

Sexually Abusive Relationships

You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:

• Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships
• Wants you to dress in a sexual way
• Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names
• Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts
• Held you down during sex
• Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you
• Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex
• Involved other people in sexual activities with you
• Ignored your feelings regarding sex

Help is Available

If you think that you may be in an abusive relationship, help is available.